SLEEP MY THIRD
 
I sleep a third of the time.
I'm tired half the time.
Somehow,
I am supposed to live in these fractions.
Somehow,
I'm supposed to dine 
with my self-esteem.
Until it smiles at me
tells me that it will never leave.
Somehow,
I am supposed to create 
subject matter;  but
what if the subject doesn't
matter?
Somehow,
I am supposed understand you
enough to love you
when I don't understand
the reason it's come down 
to you.
Somehow,
I am just supposed to forget
that I have lived 40 years
searching, hoping, praying
without real regard 
for the time lost in doing so.
Somehow,
I want to go on.
Ultimately, 
this is how I sleep my third.
This is how I battle through the half.