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Orchestrations

So I drove up to the lake for some serenity.   With the mosquitoes buzzing in my ears, the children laughing in the distance, and my raging thoughts, it was hardly that. 

 I can't seem to gain your attention.   Your life, complicated, seems to be more than I can bare.

And bare is how I see you.   Bare is how I need you.   I don't mean naked.   I mean some things are sacred.   What I mean is open.  I keep hopin' for your sound.  

I remember our time together.   Your laugh would resonate my state.   It would fill my nation with the elation I felt.   Your voice was my choice of accents to the colors I paint my world.   And you weren't so much a girl to me, as you were a way my world could be.

Hmm.  And the songs.   If there is music, I can use it in some nostalgic fashion.   The tones will make homes in my memory cells.    They fill the wells of absence, again with resonance.

I like to dance in our past conversations.   I make revelations out of what was said.   And now there's no bed to lie in.  And I buy in to this madness because of your distance.   I hold on to this insistence that you will be mine. 

But time is my enemy.   I won't be a better me if I hold on to these songs.  These sounds that bring me down .  My love for you can't be faded or satiated.  But I still live in these orchestrations.


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