...so she’s sits and honors me with her presence. She has the fruity, sort of perfumey smell that women know that men remember. The kind of scent that will stop you in your tracks if you smell it at store. All because some fantastic looking woman wore it in your presence. The concept is as amazing as she is. She’s a righty that writes like a lefty. She tends to look uncomfortable when the mood is relaxed. She's all contradiction and misplacement and I love her.
She starts to talk about her day and I desperately try to pay attention. Her smile throws me in all kinds of directions. She tells me her philosophy paper is about common sense and it becomes official. I'm lost. I'm lost by her thoughts. I'm lost by her sitting there. And I am lost by her scent. Oh that smell. I take a deep breath that might be obnoxious, but I don’t care. I am trying to fill myself with her.
She continues on about how she's always late for her deadlines. Her professors have all flunked her once. I nod and wonder if they were straight males or vindictive females. Is it possible that said professors did not take into account the beauty of the Gods as it stood before them? Oh GOD! Has she given me such tunnel vision about her? I shake my head and ask what made her want to have the same professors again. The answer to my inquiry, again, I didn’t really hear.
Then the torture begins. She looks me in my eyes. It probably was a second but, I felt older after it was done. She smiles and apologizes for controlling the conversation. Oh, I could have kissed her at that moment. She reaches across the table and snaps her fingers in front of my face. I've lost it. I have drowned in this woman. There’s no way I can ever not idolize the shit out of her. There’s no way I won't long for her to grab me by the back of my neck and pull me to her. She stands and looks down on me.
I didn't know she was that tall. I feel like prey. Prey that has given in to its demise. She has not moved beyond the extension of her legs. I look up slightly and I see her shape now. I see the way her body twists and turns like a smooth mountain road. I love the way her red ribbed sweater perfectly matches her old blue jeans.
She walks around behind me and I can't bring my eyes to follow. I just stare at the now damned air where she used to be. I think this might be the worst I have ever felt. Yet I am so incredibly interested in the next few moments of my life, the sickness is like a distant warning. She's close to me know because that scent of hers is making the air fruitastic. Jesus! That’s not even a word.
Suddenly the whirlwind fire inside me stops. And my mind slowly gets down off its tippy toes. I lean back in my chair to find her chin resting on my shoulder. This is what it feels like. This is months of wonder ending in an instant. I am now balance. Calm.